Rules, expectations, opinions, comparisons, structure, attitude blah, blah, blah… Oh! How my head aches just thinking and reading these words.
When did my life become so rigid and predictable? When did I attract and start surrounding myself with dream stealers, sarcastic, fake and cynical, people with no self-esteem, whom in order to feel good themselves find fault with others? When did I become just like them?
My world had become dark, very dark and I questioned myself daily. Then I read the following quote
“Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything”.
I also remembered a TV ad when I was a kid.
“The fish that John West rejects, is what makes John West the best!”
I had to make a choice. Not to run or escape but to rise above my misery and find my own clean air. I had to mature and become more accountable to myself.
Cheesy as it sounds I wrote a letter to my younger self. The message summary… “You have one life to live so ensure you live it with no regrets”.
I chose to mix it up, whist still doing what I love i.e. helping others, learning about money, travelling, personal and spiritual growth, outdoor sports, food and wine. More importantly I chose to act on my decision. And while I’m still a work in progress I many would say I now live in paradise i.e. Cairns
The career I love i.e. financial planning is already full of rules and expectations, so as an experiment I tried having no expectations in all other areas of my life. WOW!!!! Please try this experiment for yourself.
When I consciously placed no expectations on myself, by my surprise I did more, I enjoyed more, I became healthier, I needed less, I was authentically interested in others more and I became more grateful. Most importantly experiences became more valuable to me, than things.
Living with less expectations has made me happier and at the same time attracted other like-minded, generous and happy people into my world. Instead of darkness I am starting to see colour. I am more energised, more at peace and fulfilled.
Decide today to live life without expectations. Do it for your future self.
Here’s some Tips I apply in my own life
About Peter Horsfield
Peter Horsfield in an Authorised Representative and Investsure Holdings Pty Ltd ABN 16 050 286 630 as trustee for Horsfield Family Trust ABN 55 609 068 513 is a Corporate Authorised Representative of Infocus Securities Australia Pty Ltd ABN 47 097 797 049 AFSL and Australian Credit Licence No. 236523.
Is it better to suffer in the pursuit of wealth and fortune and battle a sea of troubles?
Or is it better to avoid both these and their troubles?
Regardless in the end both shall pass.
Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them, “Is there a mantra which works in every situation, in every circumstance, in every place and in every time – in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat, and every victory – one answer for all questions? Something which can help me when none of you is able to advise me? Tell me, is there any mantra?”
All the wise men were puzzled by the King’s question. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the King and gave him a ring with words engraved into it, with a condition that the King was not to read it out of curiosity. Only if, in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way out, only then he can read it. The King wore the ring without reading the engraving.
Sometime later, the neighbours attacked the kingdom. The King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King fled on his horse and the enemies followed him. The King found himself standing at the mouth of a deep ditch. If he jumped into it, there would be no way out. The sound of the enemy horses were approaching fast and the King became restless. There was nowhere else to go.
The King remembered his ring and about the engraving. He decided to read the message.
“This, too, shall pass.”
The King read it again and again until something struck him. Yes! This, too, will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom; I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all its pleasures are gone. I am trying to flee from my enemies. But just as those days of luxuries have gone, this time of danger will pass, too. Calm came over the King. He remained still and silent. The King looked around at the place where he was standing and realized how beautiful it was. He had never known that such a beautiful place existed in his Kingdom.
The revelation of the ring’s message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about his pursuing enemies. After a while, he realized that the noise of galloping horses had receded and that his enemies had lost him.
The King gathered himself and reorganized his shambled forces and fought again. He defeated the enemy and reclaimed his empire. When he returned to the city after the victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital was rejoicing and everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers rained down upon the King from every house, from every terrace as he trotted by. People were dancing and singing. In this moment the King thought to himself, “I am one of the bravest and greatest Kings. It is not easy to defeat me.” In all of the celebration an ego emerged in the King.
Then a ray of sunlight caught the King’s ring and sharply flashed into his eye reminding him of its message, “This, too, shall pass.”
He lowered his gaze and his valiant expression changed to one of humility. He realized, again, that if this, too, is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours. The victory was not yours. You are just a player. Everything passes by. We are witnesses of all of this. We are the beholders.
Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes. And Life?
This, too, shall pass.
“Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.” Martin Luther King.
Today I want to talk about freedom. Your freedom and my freedom.
Money means different things to different people but to many of us it really means Freedom. Freedom to choose. Freedom to do nothing or something. Freedom to what we want with our time. Freedom to help others. Freedom from worry.
The challenge we all face, is that our level of freedom is contingent on our ability to leverage our time.
This can be a MAJOR hurdle since Time=Money. Interestingly delegating in the short term may cost us more than our current expenditures, however choosing not to delegate actually costs us more money in the long term.
Warning: If you’re a tight wad with your cash as well as having a control freak, no one can do it better than you personality; delegation is going to be a real challenge for you. The same is true if you having an overly anxious and worried disposition, so worried that maybe you don’t even trust yourself.
So for those who have one or both of these two above personality traits, you may have to make a change before you can move forward it’s imperative you address your “trust” issues first.
“What is the one thing that changes everything? It is common to every single individual, relationship, family, team, company, economy, country and nation?
The one thing that if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, successful business, greatest friendship and the deepest love?
On the other hand if developed and leveraged, this one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension life has to offer?
This one thing is TRUST.” Steve Covey Speed of Trust
If you want to experience greater freedom, find someone you can trust, delegate that specific task to them and then focus your attention on doing more of the things that you receive a direct benefit from i.e. exercise, in person conversations with friends, colleagues and loved ones, spiritual growth, personal experiences and studies, while delegating and automate everything else to those whom you trust. Because by creating more time for yourself you will have greater choices, more opportunities, be less stressed and be better placed to experience a higher quality of life for yourself and those important to you.
My role is simple. I help you free up your time, help you to make smarter choices about your money and help you to achieve your important goals sooner.
Tips to help you achieve your goals sooner.
Meet the Quokka’s.
Officially the happiest animal in the world.
Most day’s I wake up feeling like a Quokka, however before I moved up here to Cairns I felt like real Numbat!
People often ask me why Cairns? It’s such a long way away from Sydney, your family, your friends, your colleagues and clients?
I have a long list of reasons for my move however when it really comes down to it I have to say it’s happiness. My happiness. I simply had to make a conscious decision to feed my happiness and what it means to me.
Better explained in the Tale of Two Wolves.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
The message in this tale is the importance of acknowledging one's constant experience of both negative and positive thoughts and feelings throughout our daily lives. Our strength comes from our self talk, activities and our choices.
The more negative thoughts and experiences we feed ourselves, the less our motivation becomes and our chance of becoming depressed, stressed, sad, afraid, fearful, resentful etc increase. A downward spiral of self-sabotage.
The same is true with our positive thoughts. The more postive thoughts and experiences we feed ourselves the stronger our motivation becomes and our chances of happiness, embracing more experiences, passion, engagement, sharing and fulfilment increase. An upward spiral of growth and of achieving more from life.
Some tips to help you achieve your goals sooner.
1. Align your choices (financial and personal) with your values. Doing so gives us greater purpose, motivation, clarity and on the fast track to achieving our goals; because at the core we are achieving them for ourselves and not simply to keep up with the Joneses.
2. Invest in activities that leverage your time. My clients, staff, colleagues and friend are my best sales people. By investing in their success I leverage my time which heightens my own chances of success.
3. Keep a journal of how you felt when you had an excellent day. It’s crucial to read your entries when you’re having a bad day. Doing so can get your nut out of your rut. My journal diary has a Red Cross sticker on it and a message “Break open in case of emergency!”
4. Change your environment. This could be a physical geographic relocation, new circles of friends, reading material, activities, health, spiritual, relationships etc. Say yes to that which helps you, and no to that which hinders you.
5. Make your goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Aspirational, Realistic & Time Bound).
6. Help someone who is not in a position to return the favour.
About Peter Horsfield
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