Driving into the office I’m singing along with Queen’s ‘I want to break free’ playing on my Spotify Best Songs Ever Playlist.
At the same time I think to myself ‘I’m sure I’m not the alone experiencing these ‘I want to break free’ feelings of frustration?’
None of us are going anywhere since the corona virus has grounded all flights ‘but life still goes on….’ sings Freddie.
Why do we want to break free?
What do we want to break free from?
How can we break free while our current circumstances don’t allow us to do so?
These questions often roll around in my head. Especially when reflecting and bench marking my own choices, actions and progress and their alignment with whom I believe my authentic self is.
They are the same questions and answers I enjoy helping my clients discover and answer.
Why? Because when our values are clear, our decisions are easy!
Because when we align our actions to what’s important to us we empower ourselves. We become more motivated, committed, courageous and patient to see our efforts through.
However sometimes the way we process our own grief we’ act in ways not true to our own authenticity and purpose, i.e. we may act out our frustrations in self-destructive, aggressive and defiant ways. Even when we know that doing so puts further distance between what we want to where we are now. Putting us on downward spiral that undermines our self-worth.
If you are prone to this and we all are. Watch this funny and insightful video. Bob Newhart- Stop It
The Truth Will Set You Free. John 8:31-32.
The truth is, unless we let go, unless we forgive ourselves, unless we forgive the situation, unless we realise that the situation is over, we cannot move forward.
We are all unique. We all have our own purpose. Our attractiveness is our uniqueness and authenticity dealing with life challenges. However until we forgive and accept ourselves, we continue to live our lives in reaction to our fears and frustration, producing some deformed version of our true authenticity.
Why does living authentically and with purpose matter so much?
Aside from the negative effects of not doing so, the benefit of being true to our authentic self and being aligned to our purpose increase our self-motivation to do the work to be happier. When we’re happier our probability of success increase and so does the opportunity to
Earn more/ promotion
Greater creativity/ improved problem solving ability
Healthier
Better support/ larger networks
Increased opportunities/ experiences
Another principle to achieving our purpose and experiencing freedom is learning patience.
Both from personal and professional experience I have seen impatience and frustration, the undoing of best intentions and efforts.
Financially speaking Warren Buffet says it best "The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient.”
One of my core values is financial certainty/security, however on my journey to achieving this, my impatience lead me to feelings of frustration, anger, obsessive behaviour and a lack of empathy to myself and others.
These feelings sat with me for over a year until one day I had an epiphany.
As long as I kept doing the basic acts i.e. what was in my control, in time my goal would still be achieved and it was in that very moment I felt freedom, accountability and patience.
I accepted my situation. I let go of what was out of my control and I dedicated myself to doing the work. I would stay true to my purpose and be patient.
The foundation of patience is confidence.
Confidence and certainty that the noise of others and our inner dialog is most often an emotional reaction to fears and frustration i.e. a departure from the true financial value of something or our own core values.
To this day I still reflect on that epiphany and wonder if that moment was when I attained my core value of financial certainty/security or it fast tracked me to achieve this ten years earlier than I had projected.
What I’ve also gone on to discover is achieving our purpose is not only realised through our own individual efforts and commitment in isolation. It requires the sum of all parts
Contribution. How much we are personally invested.
Conviction. Our commitment in the face of struggle.
Choices. Our actions in alignment with our core values.
Confidence. We have made the right choice.
The internal and external validation we are on course to achieving our goals being recognition, pride and trust.
I believe we are all on a journey to break free from our own self judgment.
When we forgive ourselves, accept our situation, let go of what we can’t control and work to improve the things in our life that we can control. It is only then that we experience real freedom, pride and trust.
As friend posted on Facebook “When you can’t go outside, go inside”.
The final important truth is that every single one of us already has the keys to our own freedom.
We don't need to "break" down doors to be free.
We already have the keys to unlock the door to our freedom. i.e. we can “walk out that door” any time we choose.
Another song that helped me grow in courage to stand up and face my own fears is Pete Murray's song "Free".
My wish is that sharing my experiences, my insights and tools with you they empower you, encourage you and your self confidence increases in the knowledge that you already own the keys to your own freedom,
What ever it is, what ever you want to be free from, even during time when you may not be able to leave, you already hold the keys to be free.
If you are stuck in a funk or you’re lost in a cloud of complexity feel free to contact me. Most often in life we just need someone to talk things through and to lighten our load a little.
This post was written by Me, as such they are my personal views and not financial or general advice.
You should always seek independent financial advice when it comes to choices about your personal finances. This is one area of your life where it’s worth paying for it to be done right.
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