The American’s sure know how to market entertainment and sadly I’ve been sucked into watching Trump vs Republicans slagging matches, the Bernie Sanders and Hilary with the FBI. It’s House of Cards but Live!
I’ve even snapped at loved ones, just so I could watch a news grab or an interview with the candidates themselves, their fans or political commentators slagging or slandering each other like it’s a sport.
Then I asked myself “What value is this adding to my life?" It only freaks me out watching all this political sensationalism and it’s distracting me from the more important things in life within my control i.e. exercising, relationships, helping clients and trying new things.
At first my solution was to simply block news website pages and I downloaded movies instead of watching free to air TV. This only gave me more time to wonder about what’s happening, which lead me to an realisation that it might not be politics or news I am addicted to. It might be something more.
Looking inward and self-examining “What do I want more of? What can’t I get enough of? What don’t I have enough of? Some of my discoveries were as follows.
I want more….
Security
Choices
Peace of mind
Time
Deeper relationships
Better physical health
Happiness
Fun experiences
Relaxation
Travel
Life Balance
Acknowledgement
Wow! Discovering this about my own self worth and values made me feel so cliché. Was I just another materialistic consumer, hollow and a part of the western society’s greed and problem rather than being part of the solution? Even worse was the discovery that "what I wanted more of" was polar to my altruistic values to be of help to others, give back, leave a legacy and make the world a better place.
Believing that only when I had enough “of what I want” and felt good enough, only then could I start to live aligned to my core values. Talk about undermining one’s confidence.
However it’s not just me, it’s all of us and we are fed this “you are not enough” and “you can be better” 99.99% of the time by media, leaders, colleagues, peers and families. Try observing this the next time you turn on the TV or open and flick through the pages of a magazine.
Going deeper I searched myself more to find below my feelings of "not having enough" I deduced it was because "I didn’t feel that I was enough" and I had unknowingly trapped myself into a vicious cycle of validating my worth because I felt unworthy, never to be fully satisfied.
What would happen if I no longer had this belief and I could break that habit?
Would I be ok? Would I be enough with what I have? The answer is obvious. In fact I believe I am more now than I was before.
I don’t need more. Buying that $100,000 car is not going to make me feel more successful. I don’t need to make more income to feel self-important and I certainly don’t need to leverage myself up and risk it all by holding multiple investment properties simply to hear the good opinion of others.
Before these things were important to me however at the same time having them I never felt true peace or satisfaction. There was always more; bigger goals, bigger ego and greater expectations. It was like a rollercoaster that you can’t get off.
Does this mean I’m no longer ambitious, or lost my drive and focus? No Way!
In fact I am more passionate, dedicated, confident and certain about my future than I have ever been. While at the same time relaxed, at peace, with time to invest in the important things to me. To eat good food, to live in a comfortable home, to own a reliable car, to be with those I love and to work with clients who pay me well. These are all simply practical (and even healthy) things to have in a modern, everyday life.
In fact, it has been proven time and time again that after our basic necessities of life are met the correlation between having more and our happiness declines i.e. more doesn't make you happier or give you a more fulfilling life.
"The things you own end up owning you.” Fight Club
So thank you Donald, Bernie, Hillary and the American entertainment industry, you have helped me discover how to be a better me.
I am enough. I have always been enough. I just wasn’t aware of it until now.
This post was written by Me, as such they are my personal views and not financial or general advice.
You should always seek independent financial advice when it comes to choices about your personal finances. This is one area of your life where it’s worth paying for it to be done right.
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